Academic Awards

Sorry for the blurry but my batteries were running out.

Yesterday I went to the academic awards ceremony at Mills with my friends Sarah and Noel. I'm so proud of my friend Sarah, whose recognition included a cash award. She is gracious and funny and unassuming and she had no idea she was going to be honored until a professor emailed her and encouraged her to attend. I'm glad I got to be part of her celebration. Noel and I had three out of four classes together our first semester at Mills. Noel is a wonderful poet; we had a great time in a poetry workshop together. I was surprised to hear so much clapping and cheering when I walked up on stage. Turns out that most of my senior thesis class attendees were also there. I don't know why it meant so much to me to hear my friends cheering and to have a certificate in my hand, but when I sat down after receiving my award, I felt a few tears.

I was always the best in my classes at DVC, but when I started at Mills, I discovered that I was surrounded by intelligent, talented, motivated women. At first I wasn't sure where I fit in. And the personal challenges (Brandon's awful situation, Andrew's leukemia, Clayton's accident at work) of that first semester were horrendous. I wonder now how I made it through. But I did. My daughter was a rock, (I love you, Telly), my friends stood by me, and my professors were very supportive.

Yesterday my all time favorite professor, Brinda Mehta, was at the awards ceremony. She hugged me and said, "See? All those self-doubts---gone." Some time I will have to write about her, if I can do her justice.

I'm excited to move to Baltimore and go to grad school. I know I will have challenges there, and sometimes I feel nervous about the unknown. But my time at Mills is fast coming to a close and I'm beginning to feel sad about that. I think I need to stop and pay attention to each day. I'm thinking about what Rachel told me once, that if we look at the future with too much focus, we miss what's right in front of us. How true.