This morning I decided that I need to break some old habits by starting some new ones. Instead of waiting until bedtime to read scripture, I read after breakfast before I do anything else. That way I make sure that it happens. And for some reason, I feel compelled to re-read the Book of Mormon straight through and finish by March 28, 2009, the anniversary of Brandon's death. Now, if it were a novel, no big deal, right? The last time I made this kind of goal (I hate to admit it, much less put it in writing) was in 1983 when I was in labor with Clayton...
My labor started late in the evening and after only four contractions I was doing the breathing thing. I worked hard, and Larry did too, pressing his thumbs in my lower back during each contraction. "Harder! Harder!" I'd scream, and harder he pushed. At one point he said, "My thumbs are going to be permanently kinked backwards!" Most of my labor was in the warm water of the bath tub. When the midwife arrived and I asked her how much longer, she said at the rate I was going, probably six or eight more hours. I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't. I had given birth to two other children but this labor was different, intense from the word go, and we were having yet another home birth. I closed my eyes and prayed. I promised the Lord if he would help me have this baby soon, I would read the Book of Mormon from beginning to end--something I had never done before. I delivered Clayton within the hour without a hitch, and he was over 10lbs!
He turned out to be the most contented, good-natured baby ever (of course, he should have been content--he nursed every hour for the first 48 hours, and was up to 13 pounds by the time he was 3 weeks!) The sweet spirit he brought into our home cannot be described. The joy of his birth and the love his brother and sister felt for him was truly wonderful.
One morning while nursing him in the rocking chair, I remembered that I had bargained with God. We had a deal and I needed to keep my end of it. I picked up the Book of Mormon and started at the beginning. I read and I read. I cannot explain the peace I felt during those times and how it permeated our home. I made it a point to read whenever I sat down to nurse. Sometimes I read for five minutes, sometimes longer. Eventually I did what I promised to do and finished the sacred record. Blessings followed the way they always do whenever we keep a commandment, and I'm sure much of it had to do with increased spiritual knowledge.
Last Sunday in gospel doctrine our instructor asked for examples of how reading the Book of Mormon has blessed our lives. I thought about that sweet time with Clayton--25 years ago now, and I guess that's when I decided to read straight through again. Why I feel the need to do it by March 28 isn't clear. But often, we go by faith, right? Ten pages a day or more. I'm on it...
