One of my friends told me that

throughout her battle with breast cancer, people would often ask her if she had changed or she had learned something new or significant that changed her perspective on life. She told me that the only thing she learned is that, "I am the same bitch I always have been." Of course, she said it under circumstances that made us both laugh, but I think there was some reality to that for her. On the other hand, Rachel has told me that I'm not going through my own trials just so I can come out on the other side as the same person. Now that's a scary thought--staying the same. If I'm compelled to go through the hard stuff, and asking why doesn't get me anywhere, at least give me the reassurance that at some point down the road this is going to make sense to me, and if it doesn't, I will have grown enough as a person to be able be grateful for the growth.

Jacob came over the other night.

and said he didn't have any trouble getting back in to the US. He finished his work at DVC last semester and has just started his studies at UC Berkeley. I didn't primp or put on my wig for him. He wouldn't expect me to and he's the last person I should have to try to impress. We had a nice time catching up.

Insight:

unintelligent and inefficient people make me want to lean over the rx counter at kaiser and start smacking them with my walking stick. ask me about my day. or maybe. not.

Florida

was fabulous. Not because we stayed in condos right on the beach, the water was refreshing, and the meals were delicious. It's because I was surrounded by people who love me. And I met family members who I felt instant love for, just because they are mine! It was awesome to stand arm in arm with all my siblings, but it was even more wonderful to stand with them and realize that everyone else was ours, too. The Bruch's have a strong penchant for dark eyes and I have to say, beautiful women as well. We missed those who couldn't be there but rejoiced in the ones who were. I think Madelyn and Jeff came the farthest distance--the San Juan Islands. Uncle Don came the farthest distance by car. And we took generational photos. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures to post. I started to take them, but I felt overwhelmed, and I realized that I would miss all the visiting if I spent all my time trying to take photos and not miss anyone. This doesn't mean that pictures weren't being taken. I think there were at least four cameras going all the time. Those photos will be posted to a site such as snapfish or photobasket and we can see them there. All in all, the reunion was a great success thanks to Diannah's hard work and to families willing to join us. Mark your calenders. The next one is in two years, and that's just around the corner.

Rolan Andrew Dayley, 4 days old

Clayton and Michele's little one

was born on Thursday, Oct 4, 2007. I cried when Clayton first put Rolan Andrew in my arms. He is so beautiful, with lots of thick dark hair and full round cheeks. Something happened to me, physically, when I met him. I won't try to explain it because I don't think I can do the experience justice and to try and fail would serve no purpose. What I can say for sure is that tiny perfect humans are gifts from heaven, and being a direct line recipient of that is a gift as well, a gift that I realize, not every woman gets to experience. I'm very grateful to be Grammy. I can't imagine me without her.

Michele had a long labor but she did well. I am so proud of both her and Clayton. They are tired but reveling in parenthood. After meeting Rolan, Larry exclaimed: "He's so gorgeous it makes you want to drink him in with your eyes--forever!" What a poetic Papa! I will post pictures as soon as I can get them emailed to me.