Another Lesson (Re)Learned

I withdrew from grad school. I know it was the right thing--the only thing, actually, that I could do given my present circumstances, but I still felt sad about it. What I realize in looking back, is that I shouldn't have enrolled this semester to begin with and here's why.

I have long been of the mind-set that when I'm trying and trying to do something and everything I do doesn't work, it's almost always because I'm on the wrong path. Now I can't describe exactly the feeling between what I'm talking about and the natural opposition we get when we KNOW we're doing the right thing, but this "signs" experience happens occasionally and if I had paid closer attention to the signs, the details and the feelings, I'd have saved myself some grief.

When I was trying to register for school I ran into all kinds of problems, from registering for classes, to reaching people in the right departments, to being registered as a 'non-degreed' student even though I was accepted otherwise, to getting financial aid. There were so many indications that I shouldn't force school, and the most prevalent was the feeling, even the idea coming into my head that maybe I should hold off. But did I listen? Listen and trust? Noooooooo. I think I was so anxious about having a plan for my life, having a reason to get up and having goals to work toward, that I forced the issue anyway.

Had I waited just a little longer, I would have arrived at the same place without all the unnecessary stress. I know why I'm not supposed to be in school and what I'm supposed to do and why. Feels wonderful. I'll keep you posted.